Too often on my mission I have gotten caught up in
comparing my life/self/abilities to other missionaries, and I just have to
continue to tell myself that I am not that missionary... I don't do things as
they do, or receive the blessings that they have, simply because I am not
them... I am me... but I am also a daughter of God, and a daughter that God
loves just as much, a daughter that God has given DIFFERENT talents and
abilities to. that's where I get caught up, is in the
"different" part because I see what I want to have in others I
overlook my own talents... and by doing so it's like I am telling heavenly
father that I am not thankful for the blessings and talents that I have been
given... I received a blessing from President Wolfert last transfer because I
was struggling with this very thing... I was comparing myself to my comp. who
is wonderful, she is fun, energetic and humorous and spiritual yatta yatta
yatta... and I was becoming so depressed again not feeling
any desire to be here, so I went to President for help... and he just
told me that I was way to hard on myself and that never at any time has he
been disappointed in my work out here and that I was being ungrateful for
the talents that I had been given... it really opened my eyes... I kind of
expected president to tell me that everything was alright, but he was more
forward with me than I expected and it kind of hurt at the time, but as the
weeks passed on, I realized that he was speaking with the spirit and that the
things he counseled with me about were the things that I needed to
hear... I am grateful that he was a bit more stern with me instead of
just trying to tell me something that would make me feel better in the moment,
but he instead gave me things to thing about and ponder... and in the long run
I was able to help myself out of the rut. I've always known, but I have
come to better understand that there are going to be times in life that we get
into ruts and we cant seem to get out, but it is possible for us to find a way
out... we must rely on the lord and we must also do what we can to help
ourselves. This life is full of surprises and turns a pit falls and rough
patches, but they are all for our learning. because of them we learn
to become more like our father in heaven... I LOVE the talk by Brad
Wilcox, "his grace is sufficient" if you haven't read it I encourage
you to, it has helped me not only understand grace, but also the meaning
of this life here and the trials we face... a am constantly referring things
back to this talk... it is amazing! wow im sorry I totally just went off, I
didn't realize that I had so much to say... I hope that it all makes sense.
Yesterday I received a rather wonderful tender mercy... as im sure you know... grandma and grandpa Nielsen were able to visit me! what a wonderful surprise this was! The Lord knew that I needed it. It helped me renew my desire to be better and work harder! I was so overjoyed to see them sitting in the parking lot of my apartment when I pulled up after church! again, some of the greatest joy we experience is with in the family! I was so happy to see them and get to visit with them for a short hour. what a wonderful tender mercy of the lord! God is great! I have always
loved that our family is on good speaking terms and that we don't have any
great rifts between us. I've seen families on my mission that want nothing to
do with each other for whatever reason and it has always made me more grateful
for my family relationships... sure our family is a bit screwy,
but we are nothing like some of the families that I have seen and heard
about. This week I have realized that family is where we experience TURE
joy... I look over the times in my life and the most happy moments in my entire
life have been with my family. I have truly come to appreciate what we
have as a family and love those that may have annoyed me before. I have gained
a better appreciation for mothers and fathers that make their marriages work,
but can also admit that it isn't easy or perfect... I have begun to cultivate a
desire to get married, and I think that's a great step
considering that I wanted nothing to do with it before, and honestly
marriage scares me still, but I realize that it is an essential thing
for our happiness and growth in this life and for our salvation in the
life to come. In preparation for a talk that I have to give in sacrament in 2
weeks, I have been reading over a talk that was given in conference by
Carole M. Stephens "do we know what we have" it talks about the
importance of the priesthood... I love that the priesthood is enjoyed by both
men and women. I love knowing that heavenly father has given each of us a
plan and steps that we must take in order to reach our full potential and also
the power of the priesthood to be able to do it all... what a wonderfully
simple plan the gospel of Jesus Christ is! I love it!
I am glad that you are seeing the little ways that
heavenly father is blessing your life and all his tender mercies along the
way.
I really don't have a whole ton of things
to talk about this week... but as for the rest of everyone the week
was pretty good... just same old same old... day in day out. just doing
missionary work. We did get to have a church tour with one of our
investigators, that was pretty fun. we also go to do some service for a member,
we helped them gather and spread pine straw. and then they let us
play with their chickens and feed their cows! yay! and they paid us with half a
dozen eggs from their chickens. I discovered that farm fresh eggs although
they taste amazing, they don't make as pretty an omelet as the eggs from
the stores... maybe im just doing it wrong... we also had a fun evening last
night, before bed, we roasted marshmallows on the hot plate of our stove
and made smores... yum! anyway mission life is pretty good! Hope all is
well with you and I hope yall have a good week
Love Sister
Nielsen!
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