Too often on my mission I have gotten caught up in comparing my life/self/abilities to other missionaries, and I just have to continue to tell myself that I am not that missionary... I don't do things as they do, or receive the blessings that they have, simply because I am not them... I am me... but I am also a daughter of God, and a daughter that God loves just as much, a daughter that God has given DIFFERENT talents and abilities to. that's where I get caught up, is in the "different" part because I see what I want to have in others I overlook my own talents... and by doing so it's like I am telling heavenly father that I am not thankful for the blessings and talents that I have been given... I received a blessing from President Wolfert last transfer because I was struggling with this very thing... I was comparing myself to my comp. who is wonderful, she is fun, energetic and humorous and spiritual yatta yatta yatta... and I was becoming so depressed again not feeling any desire to be here, so I went to President for help... and he just told me that I was way to hard on myself and that never at any time has he been disappointed in my work out here and that I was being ungrateful for the talents that I had been given... it really opened my eyes... I kind of expected president to tell me that everything was alright, but he was more forward with me than I expected and it kind of hurt at the time, but as the weeks passed on, I realized that he was speaking with the spirit and that the things he counseled with me about were the things that I needed to hear... I am grateful that he was a bit more stern with me instead of just trying to tell me something that would make me feel better in the moment, but he instead gave me things to thing about and ponder... and in the long run I was able to help myself out of the rut. I've always known, but I have come to better understand that there are going to be times in life that we get into ruts and we cant seem to get out, but it is possible for us to find a way out... we must rely on the lord and we must also do what we can to help ourselves. This life is full of surprises and turns a pit falls and rough patches, but they are all for our learning. because of them we learn to become more like our father in heaven... I LOVE the talk by Brad Wilcox, "his grace is sufficient" if you haven't read it I encourage you to, it has helped me not only understand grace, but also the meaning of this life here and the trials we face... a am constantly referring things back to this talk... it is amazing! wow im sorry I totally just went off, I didn't realize that I had so much to say... I hope that it all makes sense.
Yesterday I received a rather wonderful tender mercy... as im sure you know... grandma and grandpa Nielsen were able to visit me! what a wonderful surprise this was! The Lord knew that I needed it. It helped me renew my desire to be better and work harder! I was so overjoyed to see them sitting in the parking lot of my apartment when I pulled up after church! again, some of the greatest joy we experience is with in the family! I was so happy to see them and get to visit with them for a short hour. what a wonderful tender mercy of the lord! God is great! I have always loved that our family is on good speaking terms and that we don't have any great rifts between us. I've seen families on my mission that want nothing to do with each other for whatever reason and it has always made me more grateful for my family relationships... sure our family is a bit screwy, but we are nothing like some of the families that I have seen and heard about. This week I have realized that family is where we experience TURE joy... I look over the times in my life and the most happy moments in my entire life have been with my family. I have truly come to appreciate what we have as a family and love those that may have annoyed me before. I have gained a better appreciation for mothers and fathers that make their marriages work, but can also admit that it isn't easy or perfect... I have begun to cultivate a desire to get married, and I think that's a great step considering that I wanted nothing to do with it before, and honestly marriage scares me still, but I realize that it is an essential thing for our happiness and growth in this life and for our salvation in the life to come. In preparation for a talk that I have to give in sacrament in 2 weeks, I have been reading over a talk that was given in conference by Carole M. Stephens "do we know what we have" it talks about the importance of the priesthood... I love that the priesthood is enjoyed by both men and women. I love knowing that heavenly father has given each of us a plan and steps that we must take in order to reach our full potential and also the power of the priesthood to be able to do it all... what a wonderfully simple plan the gospel of Jesus Christ is! I love it!
I am glad that you are seeing the little ways that heavenly father is blessing your life and all his tender mercies along the way.
I really don't have a whole ton of things to talk about this week... but as for the rest of everyone the week was pretty good... just same old same old... day in day out. just doing missionary work. We did get to have a church tour with one of our investigators, that was pretty fun. we also go to do some service for a member, we helped them gather and spread pine straw. and then they let us play with their chickens and feed their cows! yay! and they paid us with half a dozen eggs from their chickens. I discovered that farm fresh eggs although they taste amazing, they don't make as pretty an omelet as the eggs from the stores... maybe im just doing it wrong... we also had a fun evening last night, before bed, we roasted marshmallows on the hot plate of our stove and made smores... yum! anyway mission life is pretty good! Hope all is well with you and I hope yall have a good week
Love Sister Nielsen!